I am more than a little annoyed as I write this post. Scratch that. I am extremely annoyed.
I came back from work a few hours ago, bone tired. It’s been a long week, and since V is away at a conference and Thing at my sister Mix’s, I was really looking forward to a quiet evening with a couple of DVDs. Getting on to the elevator, I ran into one of the ladies in my apartment complex – she has a little girl too, close to Thing’s age. She’s one of the few people that I’ve interacted with in the four years we’ve been here – just a few minutes in the elevator, every other month or so. She always struck me as sensible. Until today. Until she kindly asked me why I needed to work when my husband had such a great job? Didn’t I realise it was more fulfilling to stay home and be a full time mum to my little girl? That she was sure my child sucks her thumb because I am a working mother!
I’m still blown away by the fact that a few minutes of superficial interaction was all it took for this lady to accuse, try, judge, convict and sentence me – all for being a parent who also had a job outside her home. What is a full time mum by the way? Does anyone know any part time mums?
She isn’t the only one with this sort of an opinion though. I have lost count of the number of times I have been judged for my choice. You’d think with all the grief women get from everyone else, they’d cut each other a little slack.
It has not been without challenges, my choice. Finding a balance between my job and my family has been extremely difficult at times, but we do ok. Besides, I’d make a terrible stay-at-home Mum. I tried it for a year and a half after she was born and a part of me was absolutely miserable. Maybe it’s because I am the daughter and granddaughter of working mothers. Maybe it’s because I find work outside the home fulfilling and it makes me a better parent. The point is, how does it matter? My Thing is a happy, healthy, well adjusted, bright, articulate small person, who just happens to suck her thumb. Hopefully, she’ll stop someday. If she doesn’t, we’ll end up with an epic bill from the dentist.
And if you want to know what I said to the lady, I have no answer. I spent those brief minutes with her, my mouth open like a fish, looking like an absolute idiot. Not my finest moment. If someone invents a time machine though, I’ll go back and tell her this with a big smile: I sucked my thumb until I was eleven and look how amazing I turned out.
I’m a product of a working mother as well, and neither my mum or I have any regrets about it:) In fact, I’m proud to say that my mother is still working today, just as I was proud to say it when I was a child. So bullocks to naysayers, I say:) x
My great-grandmom was the principal of a school & across generations we are all doing fine! Keep going sweetheart!
The important thing about growing up is to end up not being an asshole at the end of it. I haven’t come across any adults who suck their thumbs, but I’ve come across quite a few who are assholes, like the woman in the elevator.
A happy, fulfilled person tends to make a better parent. Whatever makes you happy should be your decision. These may or may not match with another person’s but then who said that we humans/parents had the same template?